Author Topic: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues  (Read 12609 times)

Offline Josée D

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #270 on: May 01, 2017, 10:48:01 AM »
Amy! You did it! I am sitting at my desk (in a new job with new colleagues) sobbing....happy tears for you!! I am so very happy and relieved for you! Congratulations for your strength, your determination and most of all your courage for not giving up when you sometimes wanted to, for not letting others "make you give up" despite their attempts and for keeping your head high! You are such an inspiration for other young women! Now dear Amy, take a deep breath, and relax. The monster is behind bars and cannot hurt you ever again. Allow yourself to cherish your new freedom and now let the real healing begin. Good speed Amy! Hugs to you and Pepper from Mishka and I.

P.S. I agree with Debra, we need to see a new photo of you and Pepper  :heart: :smiley: :heart: 
Mishka, female B&S Miniature Schnauzer, born August 15, 2013
Daphne, female S&P Miniature Schnauzer - Bridge Angel in 2012 (at 16 yrs of age).
Jess, female black Miniature Schnauzer, the one who started it all. Bridge Angel in 1997.

Offline Rock

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #271 on: May 01, 2017, 05:56:24 PM »
Congrats...........and condolences.

Be prepared.  A sentence of that magnitude may generate appeals.

Shadow, male Salt & Pepper (mostly Pepper) Miniature Schnauzer, born May 3, 2016

Offline Alaina

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #272 on: May 01, 2017, 06:35:54 PM »
Amy, I am so very happy this stage of your nightmare is over. 

YOU did a fabulous job sticking with it and holding your head high as you should have.   

Wow, your impact statement caused many tears to stream down my face and my heart to break for you and at the same time beam with joy on your ability to articulate your feelings so powerfully. 

I sure wish we lived closer as I would be there to support you any way I could.  I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for healing and turning this horrific nightmare into something for the good. 

Please continue to give us updates as so many of us genuinely care about you and want to hear about your progress and be here for you!  Hugs to Pepper and you sweet girl!!   :heart:

Sincerely,
Alaina
Alaina and the Girls:
Gracie - S&P standard, 10 yrs., 09/03/2007, 34 lbs
Millie - S&P standard, 1 yr,, 06/16/2016, 30 lbs
In memory: 
Olivia - Black mini, 14.5 yrs, 11/30/2001 - 5/2/2016 - R.I.P.
Tilly - 1994 to 2007

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #273 on: May 03, 2017, 07:25:25 AM »
Liz, I agree. I was actually surprised he didn't get more, but like the prosecutor said, you never can't predict a jury. Nine of the members (all of the men plus one of the four women) wanted life and wouldn't budge. The other three (women) wanted 40 years (life with parole) and wouldn't budge. I took that personally, but I am trying to get over it. You're right though...I did accomplish my goal...he is put away for the rest of his life and he can't hurt anyone else ever again. I just have to keep telling myself that.

Thank you so much. I am trying to absorb all of this and try to move on, one step at a time.

Robin, thank you. I like your comparison of him being a flea to the bigger monsters in the cage where he is going. I also like how you said because of me he does not have the freedom to harm anyone else. I need to keep repeating that to myself. Thank you.

I want to begin life again...I just don't really know how. Everything is scary. But I am determined to try.

Debra,
thank you, too. I will try to let it all soak in. You all have been so very kind to me and I appreciate it so much. It gives me A LOT of satisfaction to think that there will be no more victims. It makes me think the astronomical price I paid was worth it. That takes some of the pain away.

Josée,
thank you so much. It touches me that you care enough to shed tears, and in front of new people. I do have a newfound freedom. Thank you for reminding me of that.

Rock, thank you. Oh I know. Don't they always appeal? I am ready and waiting.

Alaina, thank you so much for the support and encouragement. It makes me feel good to know the statement was powerful. I worried and worried about that. I will definitely keep you updated.

I will work on the new picture. Pepper is a horrible selfie taker... :dogrunning:

Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs

Offline Jacob

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #274 on: May 03, 2017, 10:12:37 AM »
Amy, I missed your post explaining how your trial came to a conclusion, and such a good one at that! I am so happy and relieved for you.

I wanted to say this before, but felt waiting until your trail was over would be a more appropriate time. I feel better about saying it now especially after reading your quote in the paper about God using his evil for good. I wanted to say that no matter how horrible you felt in the past, that some GOOD will come of this. There is always a silver lining, and reading your transformation from a victim to a strong, beautiful fighter who is bringing a message to other young women is proof of that. I was impressed that you have already done public speaking, and hope you continue to do so.

Now that the monster is in his cage, the true healing can begin. I am so proud of you.

I would wager that even Pepper notices your transformation, and maybe you'll have better success with Pepper now that the huge load of the trial is off your mind.
Frankie, male cream Schnoodle, born August 4, 2016
Sonny, male white Miniature Schnauzer, born December 2, 2016

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #275 on: May 08, 2017, 09:24:34 AM »
Thank you so much, Jacob. I have to say...I think my jury was filled with men like you. They were strong and compassionate and shed more than a few tears while I spoke, both times...testimony and my victim impact statement. I appreciate your support so much.

Thank you so much for that. I am doing my best to move forward and make something good out of this evil. That was the whole reason I put that in my statement. I did need the court to know how he has affected me, yet I still wanted the monster to know that he had not won.

I was contacted by a reporter from Channel 6 through the prosecutor. I am meeting her tomorrow, off the record, to talk. I spoke on the phone with her Friday after my attorney (a victim's rights lawyer that is a friend of a friend) did. He is representing me pro bono to make sure that no media outlets steer me into dangerous territory. I can basically speak freely, but with an appeal pending, we have to be careful. I surely do not want to say or do anything that will jeopardize his conviction or sentence. I feel so much better with this man beside me. He represented victims of Tony Alamo (it is a pretty publicized case) and I trust him.

I think you're right...Pepper has improved lately. He's still kind of a handful, but I think maybe even I am learning to deal with it better.
Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs

Offline Robin G

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #276 on: June 15, 2017, 07:40:04 AM »
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You'll discover there comes a point when you realize you don't feel so fragile, so broken. You've done the hardest part; you survived & you gritted your way through the trial. Now that the little monster is locked up where little monsters belong, you can heal & grow even stronger. I once heard a horse trainer when asked about being nervous preforming in front of thousands of people say, "I used to be really nervous but I eventually learned how to make my butterflies in my stomach fly in formation. Once I did that, it wasn't so bad." Survivors of violent crime face something similar. You still feel how you feel. There are bad moments but eventually you learn how to make your fears & emotional butterflies fly in formation until one day you actually feel like you've truly survived. It takes time, Amy, so don't ever give up & on the bad days, you know where I am, where your friends here are. We're still supporting you.
Poochie, Female black Giant Schnauzer, 6 years old

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #277 on: June 15, 2017, 08:02:56 AM »
Thank you so much, Robin. I needed that reassurance. I still feel shattered, to say the least.

They sent him to prison at the end of May from this county jail. It feels SO FREAKING GOOD to have him OUT of my area. He is only three hours away (I wish he were on Mars), but at least he is not in my town any longer. I can drive by the county jail now and just smile and feel such relief. I no longer have to get sick and upset knowing the man who did all those things to me is RIGHT THERE. He is gone. They sent him to one of the hardest prison units in ADC (Arkansas Department of Corrections) called the Tucker Unit. It is a huge working prison farm. I hope they put his butt out there and make him earn his keep. They put him as minimum security though which surprises me. How can you commit all those violent felonies and be minimum? Oh well.

In July, I will be interviewed twice by the local NBC affiliate here, KTAL Channel 6. We are doing two stories...one on my story and one on victims' rights. I will post the links here when they air. The reporter and I have been working on the stories since May. She wants them to air in July because that is ratings sweeps month and they will be promoted more. She said she is doing her best work on them. I am so touched by that.

To that end, I have also been in contact with an advocate responsible for victims' rights advances in AR and the AR state representative who tried to get a constitutional amendment (state) passed that gives victims legal standing in court proceedings. That means we cannot be ignored and relegated to the sidelines while people do whatever they want to and for us. It died in committee this year and won't come up for two more. I am fighting to make sure it not only has a chance, but that it PASSES this time. It's so necessary!!! I hope to use the media coverage to bring public awareness and interest. I hope that constituents will put pressure on their legislators and that will make the difference this time.

I have a lawyer myself and he is helping me with the media requests to interview me and with filing a grievance against Walker and Okoro for their unprofessional and unethical behavior during every hearing and the trial. If I have my way, they will be at least censured for their insulting and abusive comments and accusations against me like calling what I endured only "standard, run of the mill rape." I don't want him to EVER have the leeway in a court proceeding again to say that to another victim. That is NOT defense and it is NOT professional or ethical. And that is only ONE of the many insults and crazy comments made. I have a whole narrative I have to type up.

I am also in contact with the Texas Chapter head of the International Assoc. of Forensic Nurses. I am going to speak with her after being introduced via a contact of mine on LinkedIn. The contact of mine was appalled to hear of how I was treated by the SANE nurse and the ER, and she said that the IAFN would probably want to hear my story. I told her I would be willing if it would bring change. The local Domestic Violence Prevention Center (who also provides sexual assault services) contacted me and said they want me to go with them to meet with the head of the ER and SANE program at the hospital where I was treated (read: tortured). I agreed and I am happy to get the chance to tell them how they can better serve victims.

Walker and Okoro have of course filed an appeal. Two, to be exact. They first filed stating they wanted the case assigned to appellate court and that they objected to the State's jury instructions. Then they filed a month later and said they want it to go to the AR Supreme Court, bypassing appellate, because there is insufficient evidence...and that my evidence does not corroborate his conviction. When I read that, I literally was hysterical...LAUGHING. I died. I bent over and Pepper looked at me like I was losing it. I thought that was so absurd it just made me laugh like a crazy woman, LOL. You can't bypass appellate court unless it's a capital case or a huge sentence, like life or more. They are so dumb it's insane.

I am trying to survive but I am not just sitting here. I can't. I am doing everything I can to put the pieces of my heart and soul back together, and I am doing it by being an advocate for victim's rights. It's the only way I know how....
Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #278 on: June 15, 2017, 08:07:23 AM »
I feel a little vicious right now, LOL. I feel like I am ready to take some people down.
Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs

Offline Liz W

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #279 on: June 15, 2017, 12:56:13 PM »
Keep striving Amy!  What happened to you was beyond terrible and you are still fighting so hard to make sure that nothing thoughout the whole process can happen to anyone else.  This takes great bravery, so whenever you feel too tired or too broken, think of what you have - and are - achieving.

Robin is right, we are all still here for you - and still in your corner!  And I certainly hope you do take these people down too.  I'm horrified by his lawyers comments - they deserve your anger!
Buster, male P&S Miniature Schnauzer, born January 17, 2014
Buster's Scrapbook

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #280 on: June 15, 2017, 12:57:58 PM »
Thank you so much, Liz  :heart: :heart: :heart:

I love coming home to Pepper every day. I think he's doing better as I improve and he never fails to make me smile.
Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs

Offline Karen Brittan

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    • Britmor Schnauzers
Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #281 on: June 15, 2017, 05:39:10 PM »
You go, girl! We are all behind you, Amy!
Britmor Miniature Schnauzers
http://britmorschnauzers.com
Minnesota, USA
 
       Pedigree indicates what the animal should be.
 Conformation indicates what the animal appears to be.
  But performance indicates what the animal actually is.
                           -Author Unknown-


Offline Alaina

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #282 on: June 15, 2017, 07:58:07 PM »
 Wow, look at you go!  I'm so happy to hear all the things you are doing to make a difference and the progress you are making.   :heart:  Hugs!
Alaina and the Girls:
Gracie - S&P standard, 10 yrs., 09/03/2007, 34 lbs
Millie - S&P standard, 1 yr,, 06/16/2016, 30 lbs
In memory: 
Olivia - Black mini, 14.5 yrs, 11/30/2001 - 5/2/2016 - R.I.P.
Tilly - 1994 to 2007

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #283 on: June 19, 2017, 08:13:19 AM »
Thank you so much, Alaina and Karen. Hugs to you too!  :heart:

I hope to make a difference. Things are just unacceptable as is and I feel like I can speak, I can take this on, and so I should.
Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs

Offline Amy S

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Re: Trauma and Dogs - Mental Health/Anxiety Issues
« Reply #284 on: July 12, 2017, 12:08:43 PM »
Some of you asked for different pictures...without downcast eyes, so I will be emailing Peter soon to change my profile.
I got my hair done last Friday and it is much shorter with highlights. I love it. I haven't done anything major to my hair in my adult life. I wanted to become a different person in a way, and this was a step.

My hair used to be a darker blonde (you can still see my natural color in there) and it was waist length. I wore it up like every day because it was too much to deal with. Now I can wear it down and I feel great.
Pepper, male S&P Miniature Schnauzer, born October 24, 2013, 14" tall, 23 lbs